oh man...I'm sorry.
My son went through the same hell all through grade school and high school (he wasn't diagnosed until he was 17) -- having "absence seizures", which are really hard for others to notice unless you know what you're looking at/experiencing...
My son was coming home from school not knowing whether or not he had homework, he was waking up in the morning with black eyes and/or lumps and scrapes on his head (from having seizures during the night) -- I can't tell you how many times I flat-out accused him of having some kind of drug problem (or how much guilt I have about that now).
We didn't find out that he had epilepsy until he finally had a seizure (grand mal) in the presence of his friends. He'd been feeling like "something is wrong with me" for quite awhile, and we'd been taking him in for physicals, etc., which never showed anything out of the ordinary.
A couple of years ago (he's now 26) he had a seizure at his work, and knocked out his two front teeth, bit a hole in his tongue and another in the side of his cheek...
It's really hellish for him, I know, but all he can do is take his medication, get enough sleep and try not to get too stressed out.
One problem I see is that epilepsy isn't in most people's vocabularies -- it isn't something that people are really aware of, so it's misunderstood.
Anyway -- I sympathize with you -- you're going through a very stressful time, which is not a good thing for epileptics.....make sure you're getting enough sleep and taking your meds RELIGIOUSLY.

hey,

moved by your post. I'm a single father, filmmaker and going for a Ph.D. Lots on my mind. Had a great year through this last summer--a year without grand mals :>, then got stupid and stayed up a lot and didn't get rest. Promptly had two within a month, the second the worst I've ever had--the first with long-term effects on memory. I've been living without meds, but think I'm going to try Lamictal for a few months, while my daughter's applying to colleges and I myself am both working and studying for grad school second exams. I don't really like taking this shit, but it may give me the confidence I've sorely lacked since the last seizure. A lot of anxiety negotiating midtown New York (my daughter and I live in Brooklyn).

Last night was great though. went out at night alone for the first time in a month, saw a very good play, hung out with some people downtown. Got home, felt better than I had in at least a month. Less of the anxiety I've been feeling. I still think I'll go on the Lamictal for a few month, but I'm glad there's less fear in that choice.

Other people. I'm thinking more and more that WE just need to be MORE vocal about our epilepsy, our fears and how we want people to deal with us. Not sure where you are, but here in NYC there's just a lot of ignorance. I've twice had well-meaning people actually injure me by pinning me to the ground during grand mals. I now cast a very suspicious eye at my fellow men. I don't take the subway alone at the minute and my biggest fear is not the seizures themselves, but the possibility that some macho idiot who thinks he knows what to do is going to sit on me or stick his hand in my mouth to get my tongue.

But part of this is our fault for not talking, for keeping it "private", for being discrete or ashamed. I went to the NYU epilepsy center and sat in a waiting room full of people who WOULD NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER, OR EVEN LOOK AT EACH OTHER. Shame? Social stigma? This is in a ROOM full of other epileptics and their caregivers.

Oh, well, those are my musings. Be well.

Mark